How can you avoid spending years with the wrong men?
Wrong = you don’t want the same future: you want to get married, they don’t, ETC.
When you first meet, drop what you’re seeking into the conversation. Note how he responds. If he’s noncommittal, that’s information. Proceed only if you feel in alignment. It doesn’t matter how much you like him or that you think he has potential – he’s telling you who he is. Listen.
If a man isn’t in diapers, you can’t change him. 😂
If you decide to be exclusive, it’s time to discuss what you want for your relationship, to make sure you’re on the same page. Thinking it or wishing for it is not the same as having a serious conversation about it. You’re driving your life towards what you want. ✅
As the relationship deepens, it’s up to you to schedule conversations about the future. Do not expect him to lead those conversations – you want it so you must bring it up. You’re choosing empowerment rather than sitting, like Penelope by the Seashore, waiting, waiting, waiting.
Most importantly, if you aren’t in agreement regarding your relationships future – for ex., if you want marriage, but he can’t see that for 3 to 5+ years, then you have to leave because you’re incompatible. Staying will lead to your unhappiness.
Value your life, keep your word to yourself and head in the direction of what you seek. ⏳⌛️